Zero punctuation kane and lynch 2 dog days

ZERO PUNCTUATION KANE AND LYNCH 2 DOG DAYS FREE

And I suspect he found his camcorder in a bin. And when you try sprinting, Christ it's like his kneecaps have been replaced with slinkies. The reason for this is because the game pretends like it's being filmed on a handheld camera apparently held by some unseen third character, an aspiring documentary filmmaker who no one ever acknowledges and is either a heavy drinker or constantly busting for a piss, because he wavers like a lifeboat with delirium tremens.

Still, doesn't hurt to play safe, so here's a nice quote for the box art: ' Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days is a game so intense it literally physically assaults you!' Because after playing for the four or five hours necessary to complete it, it gave me a headache like I'd been skullfucked with Pinocchio's splintery todger. Solidarity, therefore, was the main ingredient in my root beer float of reasons why I didn't review Kane & Lynch 1, with a hefty scoop of the ice cream of 'couldn't be arsed.' But now Kane & Lynch 2 is out I sincerely hope the developers don't intend to follow the same policy as last time, because if they do there will not be a reviewer left employed by the end of the month! Or, to put that another way, Kane & Lynch 2 is worse than deep-fried tampons.

ZERO PUNCTUATION KANE AND LYNCH 2 DOG DAYS FREE

But reflect on what huge masochists the developers of Kane & Lynch must be, famously having gotten Jeff Gerstmann fired from Gamespot for not realizing that the Gamespot 'Super Sellout Saver' advertiser package included a free happy ending on the review table. I've been quoted as saying that 'the cruelest thing you can do to an artist is tell them their work is perfect when it isn't.' It's a policy that has gotten me thrown out of a lot of fingerpainting classes.

Zero punctuation kane and lynch 2 dog days